Love

Should Married Men and Women be Friends with the Opposite Sex?

Monique

Should married men and women be friends with the opposite sex? ย That’s a question many people may have different views on.

I believe that if you are married, you shouldn’t have a very close relationship with the opposite sex. That doesn’t mean that you can’t be friends with your high school or college friends. It’s good to stay connected with them.

Why do I believe that? A close relationship involves sharing with each other intimate feelings, which can cause issues in your marriage. Intimate feelings are meant to be shared with your spouse, which helps draw you two closer together. When others share a part of those feelings, a wedge between the two of you can be made.

I also believe you shouldn’t be alone with a person of the opposite sex. You may think nothing is going to happen between the two of you, but it could happen.ย What if your marriage isn’t as strong as it should be? Do you think that since you are emotionally unstable that something wouldn’t happen? It may. All that has to happen is you open up to your friend that things aren’t going very well with your marriage. Then they comfort you. Then all of a sudden, something happens.

As an example, for those of you who watch Parenthood, Julia became friends with Ed while volunteering at their kids’ school. Their friendship became closer as they volunteered together. Julia and her husband, Joel become further and further apart. Julia become emotionally unstable and believed her marriage might be in trouble. Julia opened up to Ed about how she was feeling. Ed comforted her and gave her a hug. It eventually ended up with a kiss between the two.

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Although this is a fictional story, it’s an example of what could happen.

That is why I believe what I do. If I don’t bring myself into those situations, it’s not going to happen. I don’t want a slightest chance for something to occur.

I love my husband with all of my heart and he is the only best friend of the opposite sex that I need.

I found an article about if married women/men should be best friends with the opposite sex. I definitely recommend this article. I agree with the points stated in the article.

*This post has been written to share my view points on this subject.

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29 thoughts on “Should Married Men and Women be Friends with the Opposite Sex?

    1. I think it depends on the situation. The person should ask themselves if it wise for them to be in that relationship. If it is going to lead them into something not good, then the relationship isn’t good.

  1. Happy Comment Love Monday! I’m from SITSgirls, too – and yes, this is a dicey situation. I have some guy friends who are like brothers to me. I guess my thought is to have guy friends who you are “group friends” with rather than hanging out alone together is the safest. I have certain guy friends I adore, absolutely adore, and always want to find them new romantic partners because I adore them so much and want them to be happy and in a good relationship, too.

    Does that make sense?

    I look forward to getting to know you this week & seeing you around the comments! ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Fabulous blog and topic. I married my soul-mate and best friend 18 years ago. I certainly don’t need anyone else for that role. He’s exceeded all of my expectations on what a friend could be. Frankly, I’m surprised that such a good friend exists but there he is. Right before my very eyes. Of course, God brought him to me in the first place so being surprised and amazed makes sense.

  3. Visiting from Sits. I agree completely with what you said. I have one close guy friend from high school, but I always make sure and tell me husband when he has called, etc. And we’ve never been around each other without my husband present too. He trusts me and my friend, but I want my husband there.

  4. I think it depends on the people. If someone can’t keep a friendly relationship with someone without it turning into more, then they should keep a distance. But I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having a close friend of the opposite sex because it just feels wrong to tell someone they can’t be friends with a person just because they’re married. I definitely understand the example though – sometimes comforting someone turns more physical, but I do also believe it complete platonic friendships.

    #SITSBlogging

  5. Great topic. I am friends with a guy from my high school, but always made it my business for my hubby to know and all 3 of us hangs out together. I truly see him as my brother. However I get what you’re saying as well. If we are in a healthy marriage, we should not put ourselves in a situation that would compromise the trust out partner has with us (and vice versa). Visiting from SITS.

  6. My husband I tend to follow this advice as well. My husband is my best friend and the person that I confide it. Friends of the opposite sex are ones we generally see in groups, but not one on one.

  7. Also coming from SITSgirls.. (BTW so loving this challenge. I hope that you are too) I totally understand where you are coming from and see your point. HOWEVER, you mentioned that having close friendships means sharing intimate details with each other which may cause issues in a marriage. But wouldn’t it cause issues even if you share with someone of the same sex as you? I mean having a close girlfriend that you are sharing everything with, might cause some of the same issues (pulling away from your marriage, having those talks with a friend instead of your hubby, creating space). So basically what you are saying is that you should not have any friends for the off chance that it can hurt your marriage. Just seems a bit over kill. Both my husband and I have close friends of the opposite sex, without it causing any issues. We are each other best friend and there is nothing that can come between that. So why not make friends with people who you have stuff in common with?

    1. I am loving this challenge. I like getting to know more bloggers. I believe that having a group of friends the couple has is no big deal. It’s when it’s one on one that could cause issues. It’s really up to the person to decide what relationship is wise or unwise for their marriage.

  8. I definitely agree with this as general rule. Better to stay far away from temptation and guard the relationship. I have some good male friends, but no one I would consider ‘close’ male friends. I think some of that needs to change when you marry – even if it is platonic. The husband should be the go-to guy. Thanks for sharing! Coming by from SITS!

  9. I think I have had differing opinions on this in the past. I do agree with you though and think your advice on this is good for others to hear. I am happily married to my BFF and feel no need to have another close friend of the opposite sex and when I do see past guy friends, my husband joins us and we all have a good time! It makes me think of one of my fav movies, “When harry Met Sally”. They were BFF for like 20 years before marrying. Their other relationships did suffer because of their “friendship” and eventually they found each other irresistible because thats what usually happens with BFF of opposite sex! Stopping by from SITS and this looks like a fun site! A new follower! ๐Ÿ™‚

  10. I appreciate where you’re coming from on this, but I do disagree. There is no one closer to me than my husband. But I am very very close to my ex-husband, as well. My hubby has no problem with this, and he shouldn’t. He trusts me, and I trust him, and I make sure to keep certain boundaries. You can be close to someone else without crossing the line. Just my two cents. ๐Ÿ™‚ New friend stopping by from SITS.

  11. Totally agree with your opinion in this post. There are too many temptations that take away from marriages these days, and I believe your spouse should be the most important in your life after Christ.

  12. Very interesting post! I agree to a point but I do have guy friends and I know how to be a friend and nothing more :-). I think we all have that instinct to know if it was going in another direction then friendship and that’s where the difference lies. Keep it on the friend level and don’t let it drift because that’s when issue arise.

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